Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
