C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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