well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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