You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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