I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize