last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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