Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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