Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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