This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
