I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize