So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
