can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
