My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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