Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
