This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How does it feel to date your dad?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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