i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
