You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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