I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize