U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
