Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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