just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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