How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
tell me about the eggs
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