how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
