i wish peter jackson would direct porn
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize