Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
