Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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