What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
