Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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