next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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