in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
