She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
