I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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