don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
