I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
