Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
