everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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