Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
