Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
