I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
