I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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