I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
