im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
