38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
