I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
