i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
