You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
