Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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