At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
