he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
