i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
