Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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