The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
