There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
