so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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