In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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