There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize