Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
