Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
