Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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