Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize