you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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