Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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