you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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