feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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