Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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