can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
