Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
FUCK WHALES
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize