Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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