Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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