She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
