Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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