She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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