First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
