Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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