So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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